Five Things Meme.

Against what might be better judgment, I'm accepting the Five Things Meme invitation that Sara tagged me with at the very end of 2006. It's one of those things that you might imagine is a great idea, but also contemplate the potential for malignant aftereffects. For example, couldn't the Five Things Meme just be a cover for DARPA's Total Information Awareness program? How cute of us to have willfully given the Department of Defense a collection of five lesser-known facts to add in our files. I'm going to, however, throw caution to the wind and error on the less conspiratorial side.

With no further ado, here are five things that you may not already know about me:

1). Sometime during my second or third grade education at a private, Christian school in California, I was so constantly absorbed in my own thoughts that the teachers believed me to be mentally retarded. They eventually moved me into a class with the other "slow" children, where it was determined that, in fact, I did not suffer from a mental deficiency. The measures used to test my proclivity for mental strength or weakness escape the written record, as my grades throughout my school career are quite good. This would not, however, be the only time I was accidentally placed in a remedial class. My 8th grade math teacher (Mrs. Ford) luckily realized that a horrible mistake had been made when I was placed in her remedial math class simply because the school had not yet received the academic records from my prior school. I went on that same year to compete, regionally, with the school's MATHCOUNTS team.

2). As a child, I had a fascination with fire. The translucence of a flame can be mesmerizing. The jittery dance on the end of a candle or matchstick may only be surpassed by the swirling water in a slow-moving brook. Dry, California summers don't mix well with such an obsession. The combination once resulted in my being responsible for almost burning down a whole neighborhood. Luckily, no one was injured. I have no idea what the property damage totaled, but we did move soon thereafter.

3). I have a hand gun. Yes,...I'm anti-gun, and I have a functional, seven chamber, 32 caliber, German-made revolver. Why? Because I acquired the gun many years ago, and I'm afraid of the process of getting rid of it. You wouldn't believe the number of people who have recommended that I take the gun to the police department. Do they even think such a recommendation through to it's obvious conclusion? Imagine me leaning over the counter and whispering, "I have a gun." Would there be any other worse place to make such a statement? The gun does have to go. The question is how best to dispose of a hand gun.

4). Cave exploring (spelunking) is one of my favorite activities. Growing up in the gold country of Northern California meant that there were quite a few natural, limestone caves and abandoned, man-made mines to explore. I've even made a special trip to New Mexico for the incredibly large Carlsbad Caverns. Without a doubt, limestone caves are the best for spectacular formations (stalactites and stalagmites). My current priorities haven't allowed for much cave exploration, but I just might have to join the local National Speleological Society chapter (Cascasde Grotto) this year.

5). My very first, paying, legitimate job was to clean the walls of a car wash in Glenwood Springs, Colorado. The process involved spraying sulfuric acid on the metal siding of the stalls, and washing them down with a garden hose. There were so many things wrong with this job that I don't know exactly where to start. Maybe it was having a fifteen year old dilute and spray sulfuric acid without any protective clothing. (At the end of each day's work, my hair would be bleached white from the acidic back spray, and I couldn't see well.) Maybe it was the attendant who'd only recently come out of an eight year comma, and didn't completely relate to the contemporary world.

There they are: five things you probably didn't already know about me. Now, since this is technically a web-based chain letter, I'm forwarding the Five Things Meme task on to Kevin Wagner, Rachele Cawaring, Nick Onken, and Adrianne Young.